A Regretting Cycle
by WaddleDeePlushie
Summary: I'm composing a story based on my previous anorexia phase but I want to help others and show an example of how this cruel, deadly, disease can take over your life in such a short amount of time. Mild language, mild sex, mild drama.


**Author's Note:**

I don't know if accepts autobiographies or not. I surely hope they do. My grammar is not really professional but I would consider it normal by my standards. If I happen to make a mistake, critique me. Critique the **snot** out of me, for I want to be a skilled writer and I need all the information I need to fully learn from this. I know it is a risky idea that I'm composing a story based on my previous anorexia phase but I want to help others and show an example of how this cruel, deadly, disease can take over your life in such a short amount of time. Please, if you're not comfortable reading these sorts of stores, then I advise you to not read this or send me any hate emails….just click the back button and everything will be better for the both of us.

**Quick warning**: there will be bad language and adultery. Although, they won't be excessive like most of the fictions I've seen lately. I plan on keeping it, soft core, if you mind.. I rated this (T) to be safe enough for FF standards.

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><p><strong>Chapter One:<strong> Unspeakable Confusion

Sneers on numerous faces glide past me as I walk amongst the halls. I instinctly bring my gaze down to my working feet avoiding the discontent in the strangers' eyes. Why are these people looking at me? What have I done? I have not met or interacted with these people yet they have a derisive view of my presence. Paranoia kicks in- heart beating fast- tension and embarrassment of the copious pairs of eyes on me, I yearn to get out of this strange predicament. Just as I pick up my pace towards the main exit, a familiar face intrudes my view, stopping me. It was my long term best friend…Jordan?

Her face was long and thin, the fair skinned complexion contrasting my elliptical face and brownish skin tone. I envied her beautiful chestnut hair sometimes. It was always so long, thick and glossy. Forever perfect. Even when slightly messy. Her body was built like a model though; she wasn't excessfully taller than I was. Maybe just a few inches but whatever. A sudden streak of envy made me press my lips a little across my face, observing her thin waist. Oh god, I wish MY waist was a 20. I'm more like a 26. Gosh , I would **kill** for a waist that small. I recalled the words many people depicted her as: lithe, slim, fit, sleek. You know, skinny words. It took many years for me to take notice of her extravagant features though. Since we spent many times together like, gong to the mall and watching movies. But the times where I've seen her body the most, is when she invited me to her slumber parties. Just the two of us. She didn't really have many friends at that time. Mostly because she was reserved but somehow outgoing enough to have a friendship with me and a handful of others.

It was a little embarrassing to see her exposed. I mean, she wasn't naked but seeing her in her silky pajamas made me wonder a little. I would sneak a couple of glances at her skinny structure then would look to my curviness. It's really odd that I'm feeling this way. I was never concerned about my weight and I didn't consider myself as particularly fat. That was, until the sixth grade, where I was called many names all coordinating to how much I weighed by ridiculing boys. Hmmm, why am I jealous of my friend's thinness..? I shouldn't be thinking this, really. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted as I felt a tug on my wrist and were brought into an embrace. The smugness in her eyes blackened out as I suddenly woke up…

Covered in cold sweat, I opened and widened my eyes in terror. I escaped that appalling dream. Again. What the hell was that for? Could I have a subconscious crush on my friend? What the sockballs…? My eyes searched around the deafeningly quiet, dark room for the alarm clock. It was barely past two thirty in the morning. Disappointed, a sigh escaped my lips as I shuffled out of bed, still disturbed of my adulterated dream my brain threw at me.

I wiped the sweat off of my cheek and reached for the water bottle sitting on my night dresser. Putting all my contemplatives aside, I hoped for a nice productive day that was in store for me because this will be my first day in high school. I am absolutely nervous! Well, I better not get too worked up in this, I should go to sleep. Got to be prepared. Yep.


End file.
